


Fake-Date Me?

by atothej



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 08:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20111866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atothej/pseuds/atothej
Summary: Clint's got a problem, okay? And obviously the solution to said problem is to convince Bucky to fake-date him.





	Fake-Date Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to tumblr as a prompt fill.
> 
> **Anonymous:** _Omg. 3 on fake dating please. Just the prompt alone is golden. [3. my ex is an asshole and I really don’t want them to think I’m still in love]_

Bucky’s not sure what he should have been expecting when Clint texted him an SOS and a demand that Bucky meet him at the independent coffee shop that Clint practically lived out of, which Bucky only agreed to because Clint promised the coffee was on him.

(Bucky’s immediate response to that was an innuendo-laden ‘_that’s not all that’s gonna be on you,’ _but he’d chickened out of actually sending the text, walking each letter back with an overly aggressive tap of his finger.)

So no, he doesn’t know what he should’ve expected, but it certainly wasn’t to have his favorite latte shoved into his hand soon as he was through the door, Clint herding him over to a corner table and plopping down across from him with a look that could only be termed desperately beseeching.

Bucky settles back in his chair and raises an eyebrow in question.

“Okay,” Clint starts, pulling in a deep breath like this is going to take some Explaining, capital letter absolutely necessary. “So here’s the sitch: my ex is an asshole.”

That…throws Bucky for a loop, ‘cause the last time he checked, the only ex of Clint’s he’s ever heard of is Natasha. He takes a moment to really have a think on that, sipping his latte casually to buy time, trying to recall if Clint ever mentioned someone new he was dating, or if he ever showed up with an unexpected plus one, which are things that Bucky very much would have been paying attention to because he is pathetic like that. But in the end, he’s still only found that one conclusion.

“Your ex is Natasha,” he points out as carefully as he knows how.

“Yes,” Clint agrees readily enough, but not without throwing in an annoyed scowl. “And she is very much an overprotective _asshole _who, if I don’t show up to this announcement party thing with a convincing date on my arm, will assume I’m still in love with her.”

Bucky feels a headache coming on. “But you _do_ still love her.”

“Well, obviously,” Clint scoffs, rolling his eyes. “But I’m not _in love _with her. And she worries about me, because--and these are every inch her words, not mine, thank you very much–-” And to emphasize this point, he holds up his hands and makes repeated air quotes around his next sentence: “'I’m a sad sack of shit when I’m not in love with somebody.'”

“That…” Bucky trails off as he struggles to find the fine line between honesty and cruelty here, but, as usual, he falls short of that mark and settles back into bad habits, responding with an edge of sarcasm he really wasn’t aiming for. “…sounds like a personal problem.”

Clint shrugs and hunches over his coffee to breath in the steam. “Well, it is. But it’s a personal problem that _you–-_Mr. Small, Dark and Brooding–-are going to help me with! As my fake-date!”

Bucky’s bristling as soon as that damned S-word passes Clint’s lips, and he bites out, “I am _not_–-”

“You practically fit in my pocket, Buck,” Clint demurs, his head tipping over to the side in an extremely condescending way, so far as Bucky’s concerned.

“Were you trying to ask me for a favor just then?” Bucky asks through gritted teeth. “‘Cause if so–-”

“Your lack of height is a fact of life, Bucky,” Clint says calmly, like Bucky’s not about to jump across this table and–-well, there’s a few ways that particular fantasy could go, honestly, so it’s best if Bucky doesn’t dwell on any of them. “Just the same as how you’ll always help a pal out when they come to you with a problem.”

Bucky brings a hand up and drags it slowly down his face in exasperation because Clint is…not wrong. “Why? Just…why?” he asks, not just directed at Clint, but to the universe at large. “Why fake-date someone? Why fake-date _me_? Why would Natasha even believe something’s actually happening here if you fake-date me?”

Across the table, Clint looks almost sheepish for a moment, drumming his fingers against his cup’s sleeve. “Because Natasha, keeper of all my secrets, knows what a massive crush I had on you for _years, _Buck.”

“_What_?” Bucky squeaks.

“Yeah,” Clint admits with a cringe, like he shouldn’t be mentioning it, shouldn’t be flipping Bucky’s whole world on it’s side. “You’re like, the ultimate, complete package, you know? Pretty impossible to meet you and not fall a little bit in love with you, dude.”

“What is happening right now?” Bucky whispers in a daze.

“You are agreeing to play my fake-boyfriend for the duration of Natasha’s engagement-slash-wedding so she doesn’t start to worry about me not moving on and can get her happily ever after without me somehow ruining it?” Clint tapers off with a hopeful uptick and an attempt at a charming grin.

Unfortunately for Bucky, he’s like the only person on the planet who is always inexplicably charmed by said grin.

Steeling himself with a fortifying breath, Bucky holds up a finger and starts, “Okay, so one–-that’s a lot of pressure to be putting on yourself, not just me.“ A second finger joins the party. “And two-–I’m not agreeing to that.”

“Aw, Buck!” Clint immediately protests, leaning in over the table with his eyes blown wide and watery. “Come on! Do this for me and I’ll owe you the biggest favor ever! Anything that you want!”

Dropping his hand to curl back around the seeping warmth of his cup, Bucky flexes his hands nervously, denting the sides of the thick paper. Bucky licks his ridiculously dry lips, looks up but just to the side of Clint’s head, and says, “I want you to date me. For real.”

“Oh.” Clint falls back in his chair and sits there just blinking exaggeratedly for long seconds. But then, like the sun breaking through the clouds on a nasty, rainy day, Clint starts to grin, brightening his face inch by precious inch. “Well, that’s…doable.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr at [promptmewinterhawk](http://promptmewinterhawk.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
